You’re forgetting that the Democrats are a dynamic, innovative party, constantly thinking of new ways to fuck up a sure thing. I believe the Democrats will try to usurp the tea party’s folksiness by throwing a working man-themed fundraiser, where the likes of Sean Penn and Barbara Streisand dine on panko-crusted mahi mahi in the back of Will.I.Am’s stretch Prius. Whilst the bald eagle they rented, to provide a patriotic flare, attacks a group of nearby handicapped schoolchildren, forcing the front-running, can’t-lose Democratic candidate to beat that bald eagle to death in front of live television cameras with the nearest large book he can find, which is — you know it — a Koran.